


I Found Peace in Your Violence

by azirqphale



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Hurt Remus Lupin, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), One Shot, Remus Lupin Loves Sirius Black, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Sirius Black Loves Remus Lupin, Werewolf Remus Lupin, well the beginning of wolfstar i guess, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:07:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26767018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azirqphale/pseuds/azirqphale
Summary: Remus hurts Sirius during a full moon. He is completely crushed by this, Sirius comforts him.title from the song silence by marshmello, one shot inspired by a video made on tiktok by @disabledmikan, follow them!!*fun little disclaimer that i do not support jk rowling in any way and i am attempting to separate the art from the artist, thanks!*
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 114





	I Found Peace in Your Violence

**Author's Note:**

> hey uhhh i've never written these characters before but i really wanted to try writing a wolfstar one shot so forgive me if its ooc! hope y'all like it :)

Remus had become accustomed to waking up the morning after full moons and examining the various new gashes and cuts all over his body. Before his time at Hogwarts, it was normal for him to wake up in the basement of his parent’s house, terrified and bleeding, calling out for his mother to stop the pain. He had long ago accepted that he was destined to be alone, it was simply the nature of his condition. 

Everything changed for Remus when he discovered that his friends had become animagi in order to keep him company during full moons. He was both overjoyed and terrified, knowing that he could not turn them, but could still harm them. The marauders had been so excited to tell him, so happy that they would finally be able to help him, that Remus just let it happen. 

The morning after the first full moon with his friends by his side, Remus woke up in the hospital wing, exhausted and aching with barely enough energy to open his eyes. When he did, he saw that across from him, Sirius was sitting up in a bed, twirling his wand around mindlessly, with a bandage covering his entire right arm. Remus quickly realized what had happened, remembering what his friends had done, and looking at what he had done. Remus did not have the energy to move, but upon seeing Sirius, found himself standing up from the hospital bed and running as fast as he possibly could to a bathroom. As he ran, he came close to passing out from the pain in his legs and from the crippling exhaustion that always came with full moons. He didn’t care, he needed to be alone, he needed to get away from Sirius, he was a monster. He had been foolish to allow his friends to ever come near him during a transformation, he had hurt his best friend, the only person to truly understand him and to be there for him. He did not notice Sirius running after him as he barged through the door of the bathroom and locked himself in one of the stalls. Remus sunk to the ground and felt as though there was no air left to breath in the room, his heart had never beat faster in his life, and he could feel tears starting to trickle down his face. 

“You stupid, useless, worthless, waste of space.” he thought, slamming his head on the door of the bathroom stall with every word. He hated himself, he could not believe what he had done. His friends would leave him, they would hate him forever and tell everyone what he was, and he deserved it. He was a monster, he deserved nothing but mistreatment and suffering for hurting Sirius. He dropped his head into his hands and sobbed, gasping for air as his brain yelled harmful words at him and as he told himself how terrible he was. 

“Moony?”

Remus froze. How could Sirius even want to talk to him? To have anything at all to do with him?

“Go away, Sirius.” He choked out between sobs as he heard Sirius’s footsteps approaching him.  
“Come on mate, it’s just me you can open the door.” Sirius said softly, looking under the door of the bathroom stall and seeing Remus shaking with every breath he took.

“Sirius, I hurt you, I’m a monster, please just go away.” Remus whispered, barely audible but clear enough for Sirius to hear it. He needed Sirius to leave, he couldn’t look him in the eye and see what he had done, see the hatred that Sirius surely had for him now. He could not understand why Sirius had followed him.

“Moony, it wasn’t your fault. There is no possible way that it could have been your fault, it was the wolf, not you. Now let me in.” Sirius pleaded, sitting down in front of the door and listening to his friend cry, listening to his best friend blame himself for something that he had no control over, listening to him call himself a monster over and over. Remus was not a monster. Remus, that always helped the marauders with homework, Remus, that talked his way out of detention and saved his friends from making fools of themselves in class, Remus, with his perfect smile and adorable laugh. No, Remus was not a monster, he was the love of Sirius’s life, and a little cut on his arm could never change that. 

“Remus. Let me in or I am going to break this door down.” Said Sirius calmly, standing up and taking out his wand with the intention of literally making the door disappear. Before he could, he heard the lock on the door click and watched the door slowly swing open. He saw Remus, sitting on the floor with his head in his hands, covered in bandages from last night’s full moon, his body shaking with quiet sobs. He made his way into the small stall and sat down across from Remus, their knees now touching, the walls of the stall pushing them close to each other. 

Remus looked up at him and sighed heavily, shaking his head sadly, his vision cloudy from tears and his head aching from crying. Slowly, he mumbled five words;

“Why don’t you hate me?”

Shocked by the question, Sirius let out a small laugh. Hate him? Never. It was simply impossible. He looked at the broken boy in front of him and felt nothing but love and admiration. He cared so deeply for Remus and wanted him to be happy so badly, he wanted him to be happy with him. A million thoughts raced through Sirius’s head as he thought about how to answer the question, how to show Remus that he was the most important thing in the world to him. 

“Moony, I could never hate you. You’re the kindest and most compassionate person that i’ve ever met. You’re smart and witty and you’re perfect. You may not see it, but I do, and you are absolutely perfect. You are so important to me, Remus, and you putting a cut in my arm could never change that. I… I love you, Remus.” The words came out of Sirius’s mouth before he could stop them. He watched Remus’s eyes widen at what he had said, and before he could do anything else, Remus was leaning forward and cupping Sirus’s face with his hands, kissing him slowly and purposefully. Sirius gasped and kissed him back as Remus ran his hands through Sirius’s hair and down to his neck, holding onto him in a way that screamed “you’re mine”. 

When they finally broke apart, Remus looked at Sirius and smiled. Not knowing exactly what to do or what to say, he settled on;

“What now?”


End file.
